Thursday, December 01, 2005

ptsd, flashbacks, and "pseudo-seizures"

Just a quick post today. I have lots to write about. Working hard on recovery and finding out some new things from this experience of blogging about my ptsd. I'll share in little bits over the next few days. Plus, I just spent my blogging time commenting on another thought-provoking article on Holly's Fight to Stop the Violence on Internet Porn and Sexual Addictions.

BTW, grounding exercises can help a little with flashbacks, so if what I describe below is familiar try them out. They don't make the flashbacks tolerable or make them go away, but they helped bring me back to the present a little sooner when I could do them.

I just want to talk about what are called "pseudo-seizures." They are a particularly nasty kind of ptsd flashback. When I first came upon the name in therapy, I was relieved that there was even a name for what I was undergoing, namely half-hour to hours long episodes in which I would become a tautly curled up shaking sobbing mass of pain, followed by major disorientation...I often would not know what day it was or if and how long ago the thing had happened. I had hundreds of these over the space of a few months, utterly terrifying and exhausting, doubly so when I didn't know what they were. I just thought I was going crazy. So unlke ReallyNotImportant, who dismisses the labels as not very helpful, I found having a name for what I was experiencing comforting to some degree. At least I was not alone. This was within the range of human experience, even sane experience.

If you are having these things, which doctors are now starting to call "non-epileptic siezures" because sufferers have understandably negative and invalidated responses to the "pseudo" part of the label, I truly feel for you and hope you will get help however you can to get through it. There is another side, as far away and impossible as that may seem. I didn't think so either but there is, so plz hang in and get help. There is nothing pseudo about the experience at all. It is horrible.

I tried to think what I might have called them if I didn't know what they were...When I was able to contain them to when no one was around, I invalidated them as just me being dramatic -- though never with an audience. I just tried to minimize, hide, and wish them away. Ultimately, they outed me and that is when I got help from my wonderful family of choice. I thought they would think I was crazy and just discard me like my abusers had when they were done with me.

I guess "crazy" or "insane" were my descriptors once the cat was out of the bag. And they would have been correct I suppose if I hadn't been so fortunate as to be able to get help and support. I looked and felt battered and emptied out of all humanity, only able to feel pain and not able to get rid of it for a moment. No relief.

I still get shadows of them today. Sometimes I shake badly. Sometimes like today I feel like I am hitting the top of an elevator all day, an unsteadiness in the pit of my stomach. It serves as a reminder of worse times, but it is nowhere near the intensity of before...I have been "pseudo-seizure" free for a couple of years now. They slowly worked their way out of me. So if you have 'em, please don't let them get that last little bit of you that you hang on by, even if you have to fight tooth and nail and act all unseemly and cry alot. I needed medication as part of my solution...Geodon was the key one for me, though I know others who hate it.

So if you are having these sorts of intense, seizure-like flashbacks, or have had them in the past, leave a comment and let me know I am not the only one in the blogosphere to have had them!

62 comments:

Holly Desimone said...

Hi Traumarama,
Just stopping in to let you know over the next week, I may post my Victim Impact Statement from a parole hearing about the rape!
If I do post it please remember the triggers! Be care if you visit. It will have my feeling about the rape in the statement. I am glad you seen that article. I remember the flashbacks, when I had one I would run around the house checking every room and locking doors, etc. It was scary. Take care and chat soon!
ALSO HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND!

ptsd guy said...

Hey Holly,
Thanks for stopping by! You are brave to take your stuff public.

reallynotimportant said...

ptsd_gug:
Some of the stuff you have experienced is beyond what I have experienced.

I can understand the need to put labels on lots of things - especially if the alternative labels are worse. Sometimes it is helpful to stick a label on defining what it is you are experiencing.

In the early days after the trauma I would play down the symptons to everyone. After 1,2,3,4 months and so I would wonder why am I still getting all these nightmares and finding things so difficult? Is it because I am weak? Is it because I cannot cope? Is it because there is something wrong with me? Is this normal?

So, when I could use the label PTSD then it was helpful in a way because it brought me back to 'what I am feeling is normal'. But there was also an early danger with 'why me with PTSD, I only thought vietnam vets got it' and so on. So the label was both helpful and unhelpful.

Anonymous said...

You said: "what I was undergoing, namely half-hour to hours long episodes in which I would become a tautly curled up shaking sobbing mass of pain, followed by major disorientation...I often would not know what day it was or if and how long ago the thing had happened. ... utterly terrifying and exhausting, doubly so when I didn't know what they were. I just thought I was going crazy."

WOW. You mean THAT is what they are? And they have a NAME? I've been having this happen to me for years. I just call it being sucked into the event horizon (I have 2 major event horizons that do this; one is 1998 and the other is 1983 and sometimes they're the same thing in my head).

Except I don't have PTSD. So what are they called when you're not a PTSD'er? Weird.

Tried Geodon -- couldn't take it. It was like being on low-grade LSD for me, and a constantly bad trip at that.

GettingBetter said...

Anonymous,

If you are still reading, I am curious what you mean by an event horizon.

Z said...

I have that too. I never knew there was a name for it.

All the best,

Z

Good2BUnderstood said...

Hi,

I am a survivor of 2 sexual assaults. Now, a year and 1/2 later, I had a flashback. I hope that is the only and last one, but I'm fearful that it may not be.

Mine was not audio, or really visual, it was a 'feeling.'
....My "here and now" suddenly became my 'then,' and for about 20 seconds, i think, I 'felt' the horror of the past in the present. During the 20? seconds, I was cognizant that I was in both the past and present, my reality was both--simultaneously And my conciousness seemed to be alternating between two points in time. I was crying, shaking, hysterical. It was as if my senses of sight and sound became 'feelings.' I don't know how else to describe it...
It sure is comforting to know that there are others who understand what I'm talking about and that I am not a candidate for basket-weaving in a padded room (i.e., going crazy)

Anonymous said...

Hi

I just want to say that I suffer from ptsd and it is the most difficult thing I have faced in my 20 years of life. I constantly have flashbacks and cry and get depressed. I have feelings for nothing, I do not enjoy anything and I am not laughing lately. First I did not want to accept it but now I do. I accept that I was in a war where I could do nothing to protect myself or my sisters. I have had flashbacks like yours, only I hear them, see them and feel them. I have even been able to see my hands on the flashbacks.
I am getting help of a psychiatrist and counselor, but I just do not think the flashbacks will ever stop. I even prefer to be during the war again... where I knew that someday the blasts will stop... now I don't think they will ever stop... eventhough I have been told that they will stop not completely but they will...
When I do... that will be the happiest day of my life

Anonymous said...

Hi,

I just wanted to thank you for posting this - I think I might have ptsd, and have experienced these so- called pseudo- seizures several times. It's just such a relief to know that it has a name. I was not aware of this until now. Thank you.

Anonymous said...

I didn't know these 'episodes' had a name either. I don't cry but do shake, completely freeze aand phase out, often lose time and then am very disoriented afterwards. I'd been trying to describe these 'things' which is hard to do particularly when doing so can send me down that path again and I'm not really sure what to describe! It was such a relief to read your description.

eli.kai said...

I think knowing that things have names makes them into things that you're sure that other people go through... makes the insane more sane feeling.
I started a medication a while ago that helped reduce 75% of my flashbacks. Godsend. But they still leak through, and when they do... hang on.

Anonymous said...

About the pseudo-seizures, be grateful you have them because that is the way to health. When animals face trauma they "shake" it off. That is what your body is trying to do. Your body is downloading the memory from one part of the brain to the other and processing it. I know it sucks and my god the pain but you just have to ride it out.

I hated when they tried to medicate me for PTSD, it only prolongs the agony cause you body doesn't get to go through the process of letting it out-- which is what a flashback is.

I got better by going to live on the street for a few months and just literally shake it off. When conventional therapy didn't help, that did. I also when to energy healers that dealt with tapping on your body to release where it stored the memory.
That helped more than all the therapy in the world. Journaling helped a lot too.

The only thing I hate is the alienation and how people call you crazy for having PTSD, when it's just the normal response to trauma.

Anonymous said...

I take the PTSD cocktail: 20 mg Geodon, 10 mg propranolol, 25 mg Vistaril.

Geodon was the key for me. The propranolol helped stop the panic attacks but it wasn't enough by itself. I take the cocktail twice a day and it's changed everything!

I've read other people taking it at a much higher dose. I wonder if that's why they don't like it?

Anonymous said...

I am 46 years old, bipolar, with PTSD from sexual abuse as a child. I have experienced pseudo-seizures,flashbacks, and panic attacks since puberty. Some periods of my life have been worse than others, such as when our son reached the age I was abused. Right now is a very difficult time; it was comforting to be reminded that these episodes are the body/mind's way of dealing with stored trauma. I have been praying for healing, for God to make me whole, and take the pain away--I believe He's answering me. I hope someone else can take comfort from that.

Anonymous said...

I, for one, want to hug your blog.
PTSD has taken over 2008 for me, and I want you to know the comfort I feel when I read about your experiences with it - particularly the "pseudo-seizures". Until now I feel like nobody knew what I meant when I tried to describe my own.

Peace.

GettingBetter said...

Virtual hugs taken and given. Thanks for telling me, it makes it worth doing this. I am sorry to hear you are having these awful things, but as you can see from the comments, there is a name for it and you are not alone! That was so huge for me when they set in, because I thought I had just gone crazy. It took a long time -- several years once we figured out what was going on -- for the pseudo-seizures to stop and some of my faculties, like being able to read, returned. But they did stop..I've been pseudo-seizure free for a couple of years now, in good part because of medication, but also through tremendous support and a boatload of hard work on my part. So it can get better, and I hope it does for you.

Anonymous said...

Hi Holly,
Today I had a session and found out that these episodes that you called pseudo-seizures are what i have experienced for most of my life wow,I am not alone and I am not crazy. Thank you for this site.

GettingBetter said...

I am not Holly, but I am glad the description and the label helped you feel less alone...it seems a lot of us don't really know what it is when it hits!

Jen said...

THANK YOU for posting this! I have experienced these since I was about 18. And the past year, it has been constant... almost every night my husband woke me up, because they mostly happened in my sleep.

I too thought I was being dramatic, or I was crazy, or something...

Although I am so sorry that you had to go through this - I am grateful to know I am not alone!

Anonymous said...

im 14 and have been having thses non-epileptic seizures for months and months i have up 2 4 a day when i loose contiousnes and fall brak bones fall on rads and everything do u no of any medication availabe email me on anna_rades@hotmail.co.uk thnxx

hazel8500 said...

WOW! Thank you for this post. Yes, naming is helpful. Now thanks to you I have a name for my own experiences of "non-epileptic" seizures. Very pleased with what you are doing on this blog and for yourself. Excellent work, this will help so many people, not least of all me.

Much obliged, keep keepin' on!
Hazel.

GettingBetter said...

Thnx Hazel!

Anonymous said...

Thank you so much for your posting!!!! OMG I can't tell you how much it means to be validated on the experiences I am having. Curious about the others that have posted here and what medications might have been helpful.

GettingBetter said...

Yr welcome! Glad to hear it helped a little. I am going to post the second half of your comment on the meds page so that if people want to discuss this they can there, where it will be more helpful.

BeBold, BeFierce and BeWell in the mountains of WNC! ♥ said...

Hey there, I used to be diagnosed as having temporal lobe seizures. Was on meds for over a decade. Turns out now it could have been "flashback" related. My T was just talking to me about it today. When I have a FB, my whole body goes stiff - it feels oddly like a seizure and I am usually very light sensative after and very disoriented. MUCH like the aftermath of a seizure. Thanks for writing about this. I have PTSD. BTW, I do better with labels. Labels help me find "communities" of like minded folk. I like labels. lol.

Anonymous said...

I have had PSTD after childbirth- don't know why, I think it is linked with complicated grief, depression and panic etc.

The shaking etc is called "somatic symptoms" I think - ie. your body is expressing the emotion that is pent up inside. That's the way I understand it. I started on mirtazapine and the shaking (and intrusive thoughts stopped).
It does get better. You need patience. You need to just accept the shaking and freezing and just let it all run its course. It's your body taking over to get it out of your system. I used to get two-three days of shaking, freezing, constant panic and feeling sick after counselling. It's a bit like a shock reaction, a delayed reaction to the emotional pain.
To get past it all, you need to accept it, not run from it, and find a safe way of letting some of the pain and fear out, with a professional really, but writing it down in bits, artwork, talking, whatever, to work through it - that's what brings you back to your original self. It will happen. You just need to give yourself the time. And try to find good things in your life, try to work towards enjoying something, even if you are just going through the motions of doing a hobby. I did drawing, and gradually some space cleared in my head to let myself heal. Best wishes to you all, and hang on to whatever you can to get you through this, IT WILL END. I promise you

Anonymous said...

i never knew that psudo seizures and post traumatic stress disorder went together but being a 3rd yr med student i put two and two together they are are horrible, when my fiance has them i feel helpless i just want all of you guys who are suffering the same thing to hold your heads up there is hope!!! xoxoxoxo, jessica

grateful2her said...

Thank goddess for all of you -- I'm not the only one, I'm not crazy, I'm not making this up. I'm so grateful to finally hear that what I've experienced all along is true...it's real, and not something I'm doing on purpose.

Mine usually last about 2 hours, happen almost exclusively at night...and the "hangover" from the experience is real, too. How do you possibly explain that to anyone? And thank you to whoever said that trying to explain it to someone can set it off -- I thought I must be making that up, or doing it on purpose, too.

After 12 years or so of these pseudo-seizures, I recently had a visual flashback (first time) -- for me this helped make sense of a lot of things, including the direct relationship between my rape and the bulimia that developed years later. After making that connection, the seizures stopped for a while, and I've been very grateful for that. They've started up again, but aren't as terrifying now that I know that they will go away as I uncover more and develop new understandings and connections.

One thing that's helped more than anything is Somatic Experiencing -- I've learned that I can recover from this without being totally overwhelmed. I strongly recommend it...it's a life saver.

Anonymous said...

i am noticing that i am having a lot of the symptoms that you are experiencing. i was missdiagnosed when i got out of the army and i never have felt like the va wanted to help, and when they do all they want to do is recommend inpatient. i have been self medicating for a long time with drugs and alcohol due to this. i finally got to a point where i got so tired of feeling this way all the time and not being able to enjoy simple things like friends and relationships. i also feel like i have to hide my symptoms to "fit in". if i am honest with anyone close to me they get so worried that they want to take me straight to the va. like you i was in denial of my symptoms, and afraid to get help. glad to see im not crazy and im not alone in the way that i am feeling... your post really lifted my spirits. take care of yourself and thanks for the information.

workingthough said...

I have had PTSD since I was 6 and siezures since I was 17. Mine only last about 1-15 seconds and look like real siezures. I used to get them only after flashbacks but now they come on there own. Somedays I am not even able to walk because if I I will have one. This can last the day but has lasted much longer. I have even had to get myself a wheelchair. I'm seeing a nurologist and had a MRI and EEG which both looked "good" he said and still no better on the siezures. BTW I am also on Geodon and have been for awhile but not for that.

Anonymous said...

Last night I had a different kind of flashback. I don't know where I was, how old I was, or who I was with. It was a terror I've never experienced before. I was being suffocated with a hand over my mouth while someone was on top of me. I can't handle this. I sobbed uncontrollably. I've had memories before but this is the real deal there's no question in my mind. I feel disgusting and disgusted.

Too Hard Headed to Give Up said...

I just wanted to come back here and thank you for this post. I read this almost two years ago... When I was experiencing these horrible flashback pseudo seizures, and I didn't know what to do... I honestly thought I was going to lose my mind or die or...

I was really grateful to find this and at least give it a name, and know that others were going through the same thing. I was also grateful to know that you had survived. (I commented as anonymous. I was so scared that someone might figure out who I was. I'm not so scared anymore.)

I don't have them hardly ever anymore. I'm not on medication. And even when they happen, I feel like I have the strength and the knowledge to handle them in a somewhat graceful way.

Thank you again for posting this. For talking about your experience with PTSD. Thank you!

GettingBetter said...

Yay that the flashbacks have settled down. I am glad this blog helped. I got a lot of help when I had no idea what was going on, so I know that feeling well, and my main hope in writing is to give others feeling the craziness of PTSD a little hope too. Thanks for writing.

Anonymous said...

Thank you so much for sharing your story. I am 14 and since the age of 11 I have suffered from these ‘seizures’, where I am unconscious for up to an hour. Mine only occur at school and can happen up to twice a day. I was diagnosed with non epileptic attack disorder, but I am finding it really hard to accept. Lots of people think I am faking them and just doing it to try and get attention. I miss so much work and no one seems to understand. I find it really hard to talk to my parents about it and I have to see a psychologist but I can’t connect with her either. I just want it to go away and be ‘normal’ again; I don’t think anyone really understands until they experience it. If you have any other tips I would love to hear them, as I don't no where to go next. I spend hours every week researching about them on the internet as no one has given me a proper explanation. Please help and give me any advice. Thank you so much please contact me on flossiescollections@gmx.co.uk if you have any tips.
Thanks and I admire you so much for being able to put a stop to them

Anonymous said...

thank you for your very direct discription,
i experienced my first siezure in the fall of 2010, while reading a 4 sentence email from a hostile, shaming, family member.
the last thing i remember was the words "oh no, no more" rising from my soul, and then the convulsions overwhelmed me. it was incredibly disturbing to loss all control.
it haunted me deeply. i now call it my personal earthquake and a call to change. i am on anti depressants and being counseled by loving trusted and respected people.
i am releasing the shame and taking care of myself. and feeling more stable. what i have read rings true.
that childhood trauma sets people up for PTSD in adulthood.
and at 56 years old this shows up?
it's normal. so much for being weird and normal.

Sue said...

I've been searching the internet for information and am so glad to find your blog. I've only read this topic so far. I started getting leg jerking 5 months ago when I went into treatment and it's now almost constant shaking, convulsing and jerking. The last three days have been unbearable. I'm trying several different things but they only seem to bring it on more. I can't find anything that brings on any settling at all. The medication I'm on is only serving to knock me out so I get some semblance of sleep. I'm looking into more inpatient treatment. I don't know how people get through this. People who haven't had it don't understand.

Mary said...

I think I'm the oldest person to comment on your blog. My ptsd started in my twenties with a huge betrayal by my mother, who had an affair with my fiance. It happened while I was away at school, and they dropped by to tell me and then left. I couldn't go home and I slowly fell apart, was not ever diagnosed and just got over it the best that I could. But it has followed me throughout my life with my other relationships, and lastly, with my sister, who always told me that she understood my ptsd and was my rock, and then in our sixties, she perpetrated another huge betrayal on me which caused me once again to be alone, broke, and with nothing to try and get my life together. These two betrayals have one huge thing in common; both my mother and my sister have failed to recognize the harm they have done to me in my life, and treat me as either, oh you're a survivor, or that it was not a big deal. I can't tell you how infuriating it is to have been so abused by the people who say that they love you and then turn around and practically kill you, acting like you're the nutty one. And on top of that, acting like they are so spiritual and loved by God. It astonishes me. I have so many triggers now that I have tried to isolate myself from everything. I have become antisocial, fearful and untrusting of everyone, and so depressed that most of the time I just don't want to get up in the morning. The only living things that I trust are my adopted dogs. They are kinder and more loyal than any human being I have ever had in my life. I'm 67 now and really have no hope for happiness in my future. I have only told the tip of the iceberg about the betrayal from people in my life, because it would take a book. But I am very grateful and thankful for this blog, because it does make me feel less alone, which is actually huge.

Anonymous said...

I just found out this was what was happening to me over labor day weekend when I had one, have had others and just thought I was going crazy!!!
It was really comforting to me also to know they have a name. I've been put on Trileptal in addition to my Lamictal (also have Bipolar I Disorder and PTSD-Of course)
Thanks for your blog.
I'm sure it helps a lot of people and I'm just praying/hoping I don't have another one, mine have been spread apart by years, which is probably why they were never diagnosed. And was not in counseling at the time until this one.
Thanks and hugs if okay.
-Meryl

Anonymous said...

Hi, your blog is great, i have non-epileptic seizures and it has been recently suggested i may be experiencing ptsd. I suppose it makes sense when i realise some of the things i have been through. I am training to be a nurse and it really is like big brother is watching and through the stress of the course it is becoming harder to hide my symptoms. I am really scared that i will fail the course, not because of my inability or determination but because of other peoples ignorance. It is reassuring to know that there are others out there that may understand some of what i am going through

Anonymous said...

Hi. I too didn't realise there was a name for these episodes & presumed I was going mad. My diagnosis is Complex PTSD. So far it has lasted 35 (onset aged 7. Main symptoms at that time suicidal ideation, nightmares, flashbacks, & what now realise were non epileptic seizures). Amazingly, I have managed to avoid ever being hospitalised (although I self medicated w 7 yrs of substance abuse aged 14-21 & completed residential treatment for that). Mt C-PTSD is particulaly strong due to repeated exposure to abuse of different kinds starting age 2 1/2 & being on going to some extent with my adult Son now an abuser (he's currently in treatment for marijuana addiction). I have little contact with my family (they are neglectful & emotionally abusive) & am half way through a Court case re 3 violent rapes & willfull murder of my unborn child at age 15 yo). Life is hell. I finally suffered a heart attack 2 years ago (caused by stress of severe workplace bullying) & 2 nights ago fell to the floor with involuntary convulsions. This, with 21 & 1/2 yrs of life lived drug & alcohol free! I will not break though n.b.cuz I REFUSE to give my abusers that satisfaction. My personal mantra is, the best form of revenge is success (& although I havent worked for 12 mths due to the impact of various abuses, I believe that I can & will eventually recover). Blessings to PTSD guy & fellow sufferers.

Melissa said...

Hi I don't have ptsd or at least I don't think I do. But I do have pseudo-seizures. I really don't know what causes them other then stress. And I almost feel like I'm stuck in my body and not in control but me somewhere on the inside is fighting to gain control. When I come to I am a sobbing mess and can't always get control of myself and it makes me have another one sometimes. When I found out they were called pseudo-seizures I didn't wanna admit it to myself I felt like it was a drs way of saying I'm faking it and its not it feels real to me. I'm glad to see that I'm not the only one out there

Anonymous said...

I'm male, in my early 50's & have had severe shakes, convulsions & other horror symptoms for the last nearly 3 & a half years from sexual abuse in childhood, long buried, now re-surfacing. I've had some previous symptoms for many many years, not realizing what they were, but now the official diagnosis is C-PTSD & I've been told I have to ride out the storm because the returning body memories are so severe.

Whilst I wouldnt wish this on my worse enemy, I do know it's a form of healing & hats off to all of you fellow sufferers who deserve all credit for waking up each day & trying to get on with life the best way that we can.

trivellc said...

im dealing with ptsd and seizures and it just cost me my education at job corps and now im finding out they sent me home for no reason

SeizureGirl262 said...

I have these flashbacks seizure things too.. I am 16 years old and I'm scared. I'm starting physco therapy, it's nice to know I'm not alone, and niether are you.

Anonymous said...

Hi, reading your blog brought me to tears, I have been dealing with pseudo seizures for a decade, I have only been recently diagnosed with them and PTSD which is the the cause. My PSTD is related to childhood trauma that according to my therapist is actually the worst form of trauma. The seizures or episodes as I still call them are like falling into the pit of hell. Sometimes the pain can be so extreme and the shaking violent. I usually know when they are going to come but that is of little comfort when you are in a public place and need to escape so nobody is witness to your own personal sideshow. I thank you for starting this blog because it allows me to realize that I am not "crazy" , I feel hopeful which I have felt for a long time. Good luck to everyone.

Anonymous said...

I am 49 years old and have PTSD. I was in a severe care wreck in 1996, in which I saw my 21 month old daughter die. I've been in therapy and under psychiatric care since that time. This year, for the first time, I experienced severe non-epileptic seizures while I was an inpatient. It was terrifying. The first one was the worst flash back I've ever experienced. I've learned that non-epileptic seizures are a form of dissociation and somotization. It is you body reacting to intolerable stress in your brain.

GettingBetter said...

thanks for posting!

Anonymous said...

thank u for writing this... i am having tremors at times (so it seems) in my hands and through out my entire body. i thought i was insane... your post has helped more than words can say... thank you.....

trivellc said...

I'm glad to see also I am not the only one going through these things I have a group on face book called understanding the mental disabilities of life who wants to be added n some can help me run it when I'm not able to ....people with our condition need alot of support especially from one another ..

trivellc said...

Thank u for this blog I have something like it on Facebook n I need more members

Anonymous said...

I'm agreeing with you in prayer.

emma said...

my son is 12 and been suffering non epileptic seizures since feb on ave 2 a day but now has been having hallucinations of his dead dog this is all very new and scarey for me , is there anyone out there that has had a similar experience could the trauma of loosing his dog 3 years ago be surfacing and that why hes having hallucinations of her ? any help greatly appreciated emndave@hotmail.co.uk

Anonymous said...

I spent all my life on pills and going through numerous EEG's which all came out to be negative or no abnormalities. Recently I was diagnosed with Pseudo Seizures and PTSD and they put me on pills, but those don't do any good except maybe add to the problem. Most of my seizures happen in church and sometimes alone. Remembering what has gone on and what has been said right before they happen, I am well aware they are PTSD. I would like for them to stop for it has scared others around me. I have been kicked out of homes and had a child taken from me because others didn't understand. I have never hurt anyone in my life. All the "concerns and reactions" from others have caused me to stay alone and be afraid of being around people. I want to have the confidence to let people know there isn't that need for their kind of concern. Since a lot of it has to do with sex, addiction, past awful experiences that I am ashamed of, I can't get the courage to talk about it. I would love to talk to someone, but don't have the money or insurance to cover it.

GettingBetter said...

I hope you are able to find someone professional, compassionate, and knowledgable about PTSD to talk to. Meds alone won't solve the problem, though in my case they helped a lot once we got the kind and dosages rights. That took some time, and required aa psychiatrist interested in looking closer than just prescribing the med-of-the-week the the Rx companies are pitching. This took several tries for me, but I eventually found a good one and was able to do so again when I moved a few years later. Have you checked the grounding exercises? While they are not by any means a cure, grounding exercises can get a person back in her body and calmed down a little. remembering to breath is also important!

Anonymous said...

oh god.....this has opened my eyes i allways knew but you confirmed it those arnt bad dreams i have during these sesions they are memories.......thank you the puzzel that is my past has finaly begun to be pieced back together

Belinda Thompson said...

I'm so glad I found your blog and took time out to read tonight. I have PTSD and have been suffering with increasing frequency of flashbacks in recent months (now several times daily or spiraling ones that I don't come out of for days) but had a new experience today that was just horrible. I'd come home from having a flashback in public and I just felt very weird. I went to lie down and it was like my brain just shut down. I started shaking, my body jerking involuntarily. I wasn't asleep but I wasn't totally conscious either. When I eventually became more aware of my surroundings, I discovered more than four hours had passed. It felt to me like it was just a short while. I'm wondering if I had a pseudo flashback? I've also taken note of the book you recommend for betrayal bonds. It's something my psychiatrist raised just recently so I'm keen to learn more. Thank you. I hope to read more of your blogs on betrayal bonds - really interesting stuff. Thanks again.

GettingBetter said...

Thank you for sharing Belinda,
I feel for you and can provide witness from the other side of them that that did ultimately stop and as painful as they were they seem to be a necessary part of the healing process, making it so I could not function and thus could not tuck them away or ignore them. I had to do something. TUnfortunately, the only way out is through, and I needed major help and support from my family of choice and psyche professionals who knew what PTSD was. I hope you have the resources to find what you need. If you are looking or unhappy with your professional help, maybe take a look at the "choosing a shrink" page on this blog. If your family is supportive, lean on them, if not find a new family. I literally had to do the latter in order to get better as my PTSD was threatening to my family of origin's self image to the point they not only couldn't deal, they went out of their way to pathologize me to avoid looking bad. Funny thing was, although how they raised me played a huge role in leaving me vulnerable to abusive people as a normal thing, the trauma was not particularly anything to do with them at all. Oh well.

Anonymous said...

I am 55 and recently began having pseudo seizures due to a job I've held for 5 years. Mobbing, verbal bullying, threats and verbal harassment have caused them.
I am now being labelled as possibly bi-polar from child hood bullying - something that never happened to me, possibly having a neurological disorder, having a drinking and drug problem (I don't at all -it's been proven), and anything else they can try to label it as. They will not call it a psychiatric injury caused by workplace bullying.

Has anyone else experienced this?

GettingBetter said...

Sorry to be so slow to post. Hope you find some relief and start on the path to healing!

Anonymous said...

Hi - Wow - thank you for writing. I have those psuedo-seizures from time to time - more often since I have started a new relationship post-rape. They are frightening. My new partner thinks I should "get a handle" on it. But he is starting to understand. I recently told him that it's like a type of epilepsy and then saw your blog which verified my thoughts. I am hoping it will help him understand because his anger and frustration pushes me deeper into the PTSD episdoe than he knows.

Anonymous said...

Hey,

I know this is a really old post but I hope you can still respond to me, if you prefer you can email me, volkim12@gmail.com

But here is my story, i myself am not a victim, and I'm very sorry for those of you that are. But my boyfriend is a victim of child sexual abuse for 3 years. He has these pseudo seizures and I would just like to learn more about it in any way.

He usually will be acting normal then all a sudden go into these seizures and shake and muscles will be completely stiff and he would be non responsive from anywhere from 2 minutes to 15 minutes, eventually when I am able to get him to respond he is completely disoriented, he does not know what time or day it is and he loses memory of the whole day sometimes even more. He forgets anything that really happened. He then gets a big headache and has body aches. I was wondering if there is anything I could do that you think may help or help comfort it. All I do is hold him until he is okay and snap him out of the seizure and bring him back to reality. Please let me know if you can share your experiences or tell me anything that may help me help him, or help me understand what is going on more.

Is there a cure? his doctor says he will eventually grow out of it, is this true?
Thank you and thank you for this blog post, it has helped more people than you may know!

GettingBetter said...

sorry to be so slow. the grounding exercises (http://ptsdme.blogspot.com/2005/12/grounding-exercises-for-ptsd-symptoms.html) may provide some relief, though they are not a cure. Good luck!